Serenity.

Serenity.

I'm trying to find a serenity. 

I'm hoping to find it deep inside myself. 

Not as much a calm before the 

storm, but an ending to the wrong. 

Finding this serenity may take time,

As well as pain, 

And people to help straighten my way. 

But once my serenity is found I should have a light leading me to my Savior. The Lord that will help me choose relationships and lifestyles that will let me live in His light. 

In the end, my serenity will be found and I will no longer be lost. There will be an inner peace that will radiate out. My inner peace will allow others to find a serenity in themselves. 

One day my serenity will be found. 

((Written on September 15th, 2014 at 10:31pm.))

Goodbye.

There are times that you just float. You feel surrounded by water: still, calm, and cool. You know if you float long enough you'll sink, but you also know if you stop floating you'll never fly. One of the hardest things in life is making the decision to float, sink, or try to fly.

 I can feel myself floating. Beginning to sink. Never being able to fly. There's a brokenness to floating, but you aren't truly broken. Just slightly bruised with a shattered heart.

 When your breath stops and you start to sink there's nothing you can do about it. Your body stops functioning and you know it's time to go. 

I guess what I'm saying is goodbye. It's time to go. 

(September 12th, 2014 at 11:11pm) 

Another Untitled Love Poem

Loving me is impossible. 

I will push you away and recognize that it is my fault. 

I'm sorry if I hurt you, but know that I'm hurting myself too. 

I hate falling in love. 

Unfortunately I will always love you. 

(Written on September 11th, 2014 at 9:58 pm.)

Emotionless.

Feeling emotionless is worse than feeling sad. 

Not understanding if you're upset, broken, or destroyed. 

Not being able to feel an ounce of happiness. 

It throws you into this terrible void of being lost and you don't know what to do. 

I'm tired of feeling emotionless. 

I'm tired of wanting to leave this terrible town and escape to some other world. 

Maybe one of these days I'll stop being emotionless. 

(September 6th, 2014 at 9:38 p.m.) 

Dare To Dream

Do you ever get that sinking suspicion that your whole life is a lie and all your dreams will fail you? 

Should you dare to dream when you don't know what will come? 

If you let yourself try to live won't you just end up falling? 

If you let yourself try to love won't you just end up broken? 

So, again, I ask should you dare to dream? 

Should you try to love in impossibility? 

There are so many risks involved, 

That will break you down in all. 

We all end up alone, 

Ten feet under, 

Forgotten about by the breath of life. 

So, in closing, I must say, it is a better option to leave your mind quiet than to dream at all. 

(September 5th, 2014 at 3:20)